by Paul Teasdale
The midweek season got off to a flying start for London Fields, as they comfortably beat Old Fallopians by 6 wickets.
Hard-hitting Karl Lacis (49*) and cloth-bat Paul Teasdale (39*) chased down the Old Fallopians' total of 111 in only 9.2 overs, with only debutant batsman Faraaz Samadi falling to a freak run-out at the non-strikers end.
Winning the toss and opting to bat first, the Fallopian openers got off to a steady start against the tight opening bowling of Ben "2-course" Davies and Paul "The Undertaker" Turley, whose shapely in-duckers regularly beat both batsman, stumps and the Fields' pathetic wicketkeeper, who looks and interacts like a small, feral child.
Dad-to-be Tyrone "What's That Skip?" Graham engineered the first wicket with a brilliant run-out, only spoilt somewhat by the dainty girliness of the actual throw. Whingeing after the game, Tyrone claimed "aw look, it's because I've got a f**ked shoulder mate", as he sipped on a non-alcoholic fruit cocktail; pinky off.
Turley got a wicket too with a real beauty that just clipped off-stick. "Chuffed with that by 'eck", he grumbled, supping on a warm ale and holding a whippet by the nape.
Old Fallopians struggled to gain momentum through their innings, as everyone bowled super tight(ly), even Ty. Arthur "Topman" Smart managed to struggle out of his dashing, skin-tight slacks and shirt combo (all the rage, don'cha know) to loop up his spinning moon balls; Teas duly stumping the Fallopian opener who hit a decent 33.
Ty got a bit of a tap as Fallopians looked to push on at the end, but incredibly only bowled one no-ball, perhaps because the umpire/scorer was busy scribbling in the book rather than watching Ty's front boot. He almost should've maybe got a wicket, but Troy "Flea" Utz, busy playing funky slap-bass in the deep just failed to get hands on a sliced shot. There is an awesome sequence of pics here (got it!), here (definitely got it!), here (not got it!) and here (damn it!).
After the game, most of us shunned the chance to watch the football to instead watch Ben Davies tuck into a two-course supper at the nearby pub, and skipper Tyrone divulged a bizarre teenage crush on Karl "The Body" Lacis, a reknowned swimmer back in Brisbane, who apparently filled Ty's youthful mind with lusty thoughts involving speedos.London Fields Batting
115 for 1 in 9.0
|Paul Teasdale||—||Not Out||Unknown||39|
|Karl Lacis||—||Not Out||Unknown||49|
111 for 4 in 12.0London Fields Bowling