London Fields make Homerton CC walk the plank by 7 wickets
by our nautical correspondent, Chris P "Crispy" Rice
On Sunday 12th May 2013, exactly a year since his last match report, match manager Rice was tasked with recording the deeds of the mighty men of LFCC on the green fields of Hackney against fellow warriors in white wielding willow and propelling leather. Firstly though, to the person who stole my Microsoft office, I will find you, you have my word.
The game started on time and despite a poor forecast, the conditions favoured batting or at least that was the conclusion arrived at by Homerton CC's skipper who elected to bat first and set sail into the afternoon. The LFCC attack was opened by Jack (not "Sparrow") from the City end and Troy from the Town Hall end. Troy at first found a great length and Jack's spell was probing and to the third ball of the match the opening batsman was almost caught at silly mid on pushing forward. Despite Arthur hitting the deck the catch did not carry. With stormy weather and high seas predicted a slow scoring rate typified the Homerton innings, this lack of scoreboard pressure was down to tight and disciplined bowling from the Tedore end and wicket taking deliveries from the Turley end that just failed to stick in the hands of the LFCC fielders. In fact such was Troy's frugality that after 2 overs a run had yet to be scored off him and at the end of his spell, he had taken one wicket in 4 overs for 4 runs. Jack meanwhile toiled away without much luck other than splicing the main mast of the number 3 batsman, 39 runs off 6 overs for 1 wicket was perhaps an unlucky haul of bounty and if chances had been taken he would have had 4 wickets. The end of Troy's spell brought LFCC's very own Mitchell Johnson on deck, Tyrone. This time it was the Mitchell Johnson of 2009/10 that Tyrone emulated as delivery after delivery whistled over the bows of the number 5 batsman, doing his best to emulate a pirate.
"Keelhaul" him was the cry from mid off, to which Tyrone responded with perfect delivery after perfect delivery. By now the London Fields spectators club had arrived, the most vocal of which was another gentleman with more than a passing resemblance of a salty old sea dog, who dispensed advice to one and all and the trees about what the bowler should be doing to get the batsman out. Eventually Tyrone followed Captain Ahab's advice and decided to pitch one up, which captain Homerton, but not sparrow, fell for hook line and sinker, departing to the most obvious LWB since Chris Cairns' dismissal of Chris Read in 1999 on the first day of the test match at Lord's, except that he hit it. With the score now around a ton and Homerton very much in the doldrums, with no shots being played other than the odd lusty heave-ho to midships by captain Sparrow and the odd forehand over the head smash of head high full tosses, Vince and Tony settled into a formidable attack, steaming in from the Turley and Tedore Ends respectively. Tony whirled away and wicket followed wicket as he extracted turn and lack of bounce and Vince kept everyone guessing. Five wickets for 12 off 5 overs and no wickets for 47 off 6 overs respectively telling the yarn of LFCC's second changes' afternoon. Finally LFCC's death bowler Able Tazman introduced himself into the attack and continued the frugal work of his countrymen before him, ending with figures of 1 for 5 off 3. A target of 123 off 36 never looked challenging on a pitch that was playing as well as could be expected after the over night rain and seasoned onlookers said 180 would have been par for a days work in front of the mast.
In reply Kapila and Chris P were to set sail first and steam the good ship LFCC into port. Their passage progressed sedately avoiding any first few over icebergs, and just as Chris P was finding his range, a siren of a slow right bowler enticed him from the safety of the crease to be stumped by a keel's width, 15 runs to the good. This brought Arthur's hand to the tiller and he and Kapila made hay whilst the good ship Homerton CC took on water (as did everyone else, as it had started to rain) and tidy bowling gave way to shooting fish in a barrel bowling. As safe harbour hove into view, Kapila was undone by a bad ball, to be caught behind square on the on side for a well sailed 28. Arthur, unperturbed, carried on in a buccaneering manner, making Homerton pay for forgetting the old sea shanty of dropped catches lose matches. Travis fell to the same bowler as Kapila, caught easily. This was after dispatching his first delivery to Davy Jones' locker and looking like he would single handedly sail the good ship LFCC into safe waters. Steve Fernbank, (4 not out) resumed his role of LFCC pilot, helping Arthur, (62 not out) to dock the LFCC innings in port in record time. With the sun not long past the yard arm, LFCC had successfully found, "crossed the T" and sunk their adversary and it was time for the sinking of much Rum in the Pub on the Park.
All in all another exciting voyage for the good ship LFCC, "God bless all who sail in her."London Fields Batting
123 for 3 in 25.0
|Arthur Smart||—||Not Out||Unknown||61|
|Steve Fernbank||—||Not Out||Unknown||4|
|Dave Miller||—||Did Not Bat||Unknown||0|
|Troy Utz||—||Did Not Bat||Unknown||0|
|Ty Graham||—||Did Not Bat||Unknown||0|
|Tony Tedore||—||Did Not Bat||Unknown||0|
|Vincent Croft||—||Did Not Bat||Unknown||0|
|Jack O'Connor||—||Did Not Bat||Unknown||0|
122 for 10 in 28.0London Fields Bowling